When we’re young, we can’t bear to imagine a day when our parents die, but we all have to deal with it at some point in our lives. This is one if not the most difficult times of our lives. But, as time passes, grief can turn into insight, and tears of sadness can turn into tears of joy.
My beloved and amazing mother left us six years ago. I’ve been through so many different emotions since his death. But with all the emotions came memories that make me happy.
Even in death, my mother continues to help me navigate through life. As my children grow and move away to live their lives, I have received the lessons that my mother taught me, even though her actions give me the strength to face the challenges of what is happening. Even though it’s so hard to watch them drift off into the unknown, she did, so I can too.
Remembering the bell from my childhood
When I was a kid, growing up in the country, mom used to ring that bell to tell me it was time to go home.
Today, though overgrown with the beautiful bushes she planted so many years ago, the bell fills me with warmth and love. The bell represents so much of what mom gave me and still gives me, every day.
Mom was selfless as she let me begin to walk away from her into the unknown. She gave me the strength and the confidence to leave her and discover the world around me so that each year I could walk a little further.
The bell no longer rings, but the memories of conversations about my daily adventures live on.
Mom will always be, even in death, my co-pilot forever. She will always be the one who supported me, challenged me, believed in me, understood me and loved me without judgment or limit.
Even though she’s been gone for six years, today I still feel her all around me. Her smile and her wave as I walked into the wooded barn for the day and her hugs and kisses when I returned with stories and sometimes scrapes and bruises.
Today I hear the faint sound of the bell in my memory reminding me of how incredibly lucky and blessed I was to have been loved by her.
I found such comfort and security, knowing that when the bell rang, she would be there at the bell to share my daily adventures. Now, looking at the bell, I know that my job is to let my children go and wait by the “bell” to heal their wounds, experience their joys, share their dreams and celebrate their victories, just like mom did for me.